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An Abstract of Misadventure & Misfortune

calamity at every corner
Aug 17 '14
Proper use of a toaster oven.

Proper use of a toaster oven.

8 notes Tags: philly philadelphia cheshirecatgrins do the cheesesteak shuffle yeah cheesesteak heart attack

Jul 5 '14
No one is independent of themselves.
— SIX WORDS (7/4/14)

74 notes (via ericboydblog)Tags: others

Jul 5 '14

(Source: adumbscotts)

29,927 notes (via msfrannyglass & adumbscotts)

Jul 4 '14
Happy 4th from the birthplace of the nation. Expect a fireworks montage later this week.

Happy 4th from the birthplace of the nation. Expect a fireworks montage later this week.

18 notes Tags: happy birthday america 4th of july philly philadelphia

Jul 4 '14
It felt like four in the morning
what sounded like fireworks
turned out to be just what it was
The stars looked like diamonds
then came the sirens
& everyone started to cuss
— New Year’s Eve - Tom Waits

Happy Birthday America

14 notes (via calamityxjane)Tags: quotes lit tom waits independence day

Jul 4 '14
im-gonna-wreck-it:

You’re welcome.

im-gonna-wreck-it:

You’re welcome.

(Source: deadpoolincorporated)

79,258 notes (via vagabondlanguage & deadpoolincorporated)Tags: others happy birthday america independence day

Jul 4 '14

Born On The Fourth Of July [the people’s champ]

there are so many things they don’t teach you in history class —
for instance, Theodore Roosevelt may have come in like a bull moose
but he came out like a Teddy bear, (we won’t judge if you didn’t know)

these big open arms just waiting to swallow
your sorrows in a hug— to tell you everything
will be okay, you aren’t alone, there’s someone
in your corner, he can’t help but be there for everyone
he comes in contact with

we all try to rise to the standards he sets but that bar is a little high
that hasn’t stopped this guy from trying to raise the curve <3

16 notes Tags: others happy birthday matty raisethecurve hope it's a great one fireworks you lucky bastard trying not to be jealous

Jul 4 '14
It felt like four in the morning
what sounded like fireworks
turned out to be just what it was
The stars looked like diamonds
then came the sirens
& everyone started to cuss
— New Year’s Eve - Tom Waits

14 notes Tags: quotes lit tom waits fireworks happy birthday america independence day i love the fuck out of four am and fireworks

Jul 4 '14
happy birthday i love everyone

happy birthday i love everyone

(Source: dispatchesfromcongress)

765 notes (via ladyhistory & dispatchesfromcongress)Tags: others reblog i fucking love america

Jul 3 '14
a very reasonable friend indeed.

a very reasonable friend indeed.

12 notes Tags: quotes lit bukowski the last night of the earth poems the writer alcohol makes words flow easier sorry not sorry

Jun 26 '14
feeling such panic since my best friend since birth is flying into town at happy hour.  My first Michgan visitor in Philly.  11 months where nobody knows your name is a long time.

I think I&#8217;ll miss it.

feeling such panic since my best friend since birth is flying into town at happy hour.  My first Michgan visitor in Philly.  11 months where nobody knows your name is a long time.

I think I’ll miss it.

26 notes (via calamityxjane)Tags: quotes lit Bukowski i hate mirrors avoid everything at all costs

Jun 26 '14

get real [messed up on the memories]

calamityxjane:

She looks at me over her favorite burger in our favorite bar and I see the same pain reflected in her blue eyes; I sense the intensity.

"Really though, why does life fuck us so hard?"  She answers herself with a swig of beer.

Her mouth contorts into something like a smile.  “Let’s get real fucked up.  Let’s get ‘vacuuming at 2am will definitely impress the neighbors’ drunk.”

I cock half a smile at her, remembering the crazy lady pounding on my door.  “Let’s get ‘beat a sober kid at MarioKart and make him cry in front of all his friends’ drunk.”

She actually grins and comes back with “Let’s get kicked out of Crank’s Coney Island at 4am but not before they serve you on your very own chili dog plate and bring you a to-go box.” 

I nearly spit my beer out remembering my ridiculousness.  “Emma always loved me, what can I say?  I miss Emma.”

"I miss us, and then."

Sometimes it’s enough to just intoxicate ourselves with memories.

Happy Birthday Bestest.

if you haven’t relocated to bigger better things by July 30th….

I’m coming for you. 

(hide yo kids, hide yo wife, hide yo husband because I’m coming after you.., so you can run and tell that HOME GIRL)

40 notes (via calamityxjane)Tags: relevant reblog others Happy Birthday happy birthday bestest

Jun 8 '14

One time I “met” someone in the twc community but despite never showing his face to me via Skype or any form of social media his reaction to me was I was “heavier than expected”. I feel like I didn’t relate with the #YesAllWomen movement until I remembered that little incident that further isolated me from this community that used to give me such comfort, belonging, & joy.

12 notes Tags: double standards twc twcfarce its been forever mostly because I hate the system and also life

Apr 17 '14
Came across this heartbreak on my way home.

Came across this heartbreak on my way home.

8 notes Tags: philly books dumpster diving cantquitcrying heartbreak blasphemy heretical

Apr 13 '14
50th Anniversary Doctor Who Monopoly &amp; The Angels Take Manhattan.

50th Anniversary Doctor Who Monopoly & The Angels Take Manhattan.

8 notes Tags: cheshirecatgrins monopoly doctor who i'm winning all I do is win